Where To Begin - The core decisions
From Wedding Planning Guide
Congratulations on getting engaged. There are 5 core decisions that need to be made:
- When are you getting married?
- Your budget and who is helping pay for what
- The size of the wedding/reception
- The ceremony location
- The reception location
These decisions provide the foundation that the rest of your decisions for your wedding will be built upon. I have put them in to a loose order to be followed. Different decisions will affect the other decisions, so you will be moving up and down the list until everything has been finalized.
When are you getting married?
“When are you getting married?” is probably one of the first questions people will ask you, and is one of the main outcomes of completing the core decisions. You might already have an idea of when you’re getting married; you might have already chosen the date, or just a rough idea. You should start with a rough guess of when you would like to get married, e.g. 6 months from now, a summer wedding, etc. This will allow you to move on to the other core decisions. Once you have finished finalizing all the core decisions you will know the exact day and time for your wedding. With this date booked in you can plan a lot of the smaller details. These decisions are important, too; you just need to know the time frames to get started.
Some of the things that might influence your choice of your wedding date.
- How much time do you have to get the wedding in order?
- What is the weather like in different months? For example would you like a spring wedding?
- Whether it is convenient for guests to be able to be there. If guests have to travel, when is a good time? How much time do they have to plan for the trip? Etc.
- Is there a date that is significant to you? For example, an anniversary you already have, Valentines Day, your parents’ anniversary, or an interesting number sequence?
- When is a good time of the year to get photographs?
- Time of the year when your favorite flowers are in bloom
Your budget and who is helping pay for what
Let’s talk about money now, back to reality for a little while. The size of your budget will affect every aspect of your wedding. Examples are how many guests you can have, where you can have your reception, whether you are going to get married overseas, whether you will go to a flash restaurant for the reception, and where are you going for your honeymoon. All these type of choices you have available are dictated by your budget.
You and your partner with your parents will need to determine on the following points:
- To solve issues with a limit, how much money in total do you want to spend?
- To be prepared what to expect, who will contribute funds to your wedding?
- To prioritize your funds, what aspects of the wedding are the most important?
Traditionally, the break down is the bride’s parents pay for most of the wedding. This can be very expensive on the brides’ parents and is not always fair, so a lot of people break with traditions in this point. These days it is often a lot more of an even split, and when the bride and groom are older and have already started to get a base for themselves, they might even pay for everything themselves. The more someone invests into the wedding, the more they feel they have a right to control different things even though it is your wedding. When you can pay for most of it your self you get ultimate control over how things go. When you do take money it is can become a game of politics. Does one set of parents provide more financial support then the other set? Does that mean they get more say in the planning of the wedding, doing what one person wants, does that step on someone else’s toes. You will need to know how to take a balancing act with how much to take financing with giving up control.
The size of the wedding/reception
Each guest costs you money. This is why the size of the wedding is very important it plays in to the budget and working out where you’re going to have the ceremony/reception. If it is a small wedding or a large wedding will effect what option you will have for different venues. Does your culture expect you to invite all your extended family and relatives? How many people can you afford to have at your reception?
This is not about finalizing your guest list here, just a rough idea of the guest list. This is just to get a good idea on numbers so that you are able to look at possible venues for the wedding and reception. You will get to finalize the guest list latter. With a rough guest list you can see what venues are available and what it will cost you.
The ceremony location
Where are you getting married? You might have a family church you go to or a church you have always dreamed of getting married in. Maybe you do not want to get married in a church and want to get married outdoors like at a beach. If you are unsure where you like to get married you may choose the reception location first. Then look at locations near/around the reception location.
Once you have chosen the location where you are getting married you need to make sure it is available when you want to get married. Once you book the ceremony location then you will know the date and time of your wedding.
Some things to consider when choosing a ceremony location:
- Location – Where is the ceremony in relation to the reception/guest/where you live? You may want to have the wedding at where you are holding your reception to cut down on costs and travel times.
- Availability – Are you able to have your wedding here on the date you want to get married?
- Size – Is there a minimum/maximum number of guests the location can hold?
- Transport – How good is the parking/transport to this location? Is it a busy area which will cause travel times to be slower?
- Music – If you walk down the isle to music, is the source a CD, live performance, a pipe organ, etc.?
- Decorations – Do you want to decorate the ceremony location, and if so what are you able to decorate it with? If you could see another wedding there then you will get some ideas of what you are able to do with the location.
The reception location
The last of the core decisions is the location of the reception. This is where a lot of the money for the wedding goes. A lot of the popular places get booked early so look around. This is where you get to have all the nice speeches and get to thank your friends and family. You will need to find a place that matches the theme/size of your wedding.
Looking around you will also get a feel for cost and see how much it will cost for the number of people you were thinking of inviting. You might find that you have to cut back on the guest list to fit your budget or work out how to grow your budget to fit the number of guests. You will not know this till you have found the location that you want. You do not need to have the best/trendiest place. You just need to find a place you will be able to enjoy with your friends and family.
Some things to consider when choosing a reception location:
- Size - The number of guests you have
- Availability – You want to book as early as possible to lock in the location.
- Cost – What you must pay to hire the location, for the cost of food, for the cost of alcohol, etc.
- Location – How far is the venue from where you are having the reception; when traveling there will you have enough time to get your photos taken where you want them taken?
- Food – If food is provided then it is a good idea to get a chance to be able to check the food first.